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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome many challenges, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been constantly blindsided in relationships. Her husband left her, and it was a huge shock. Several of her social circle vanished then, as they were only interested in him. She was stunned by her. She put in more effort toward our bond, likely realised more clearly the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, several of her friends vanished and she isn't certain of the reason. Her previous job became hostile, despite the fact that she had been an excellent employee, her exit happened without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we have each left the workforce so we're spending each other more, however, I feel my role in our friendship is to listen. I start subjects only for her to redirect conversation onto what interests her. Politically, she holds firm beliefs. I try to propose verifying facts or other angles.

She has been arranging a trip to a nation I've visited on several occasions and lived in for some time. My intention was to offer personal experiences, yet it was unappreciated. She purely solely sought validation of her decisions. I have come back from a month in that place and she wants to catch up, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to be a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, however, I feel she can understand the effect of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in pulling back. How should I proceed?

Ways Forward

One option is to walk away, however, that approach is seldom a smooth outcome we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of resolution takes courage and openness for each of you.

Experts suggest applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step is to state what typically happens when you talk. This needs to be based on facts and essentially an unbiased account. The second involves sharing how this leaves you feeling. There should be no disagreement on this point. Your feelings are valid, naturally. Finally involves requesting how the two of you will alter the dynamics of your friendship."

Remember she too has a point of view, so you need to stay open to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is telling to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak while I will remain silent for half an hour."

This can be effective in fostering mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

This person could ignore all you say, since certain individuals hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they have a narrative about themselves they cannot release because their very survival relies on it and it represents they've known. It's tough as there is no clear path here, just dead ends. However, she might at first react like this before reflecting your perspective. If you don't achieve a fix, it provides satisfaction from having been truthful.